Same old same old issues of the PROBLEMS. Be a part of the solution instead of saying well let's discuss. I am disappointed.

WE ARE BEYOND the discussion to the point the black community is up in arms with problems. And the more problems we hear about the more problems that are created. Mainstream media is FEEDING into the drama. Please JUST STOP it!

IF I HEAR ONE MORE STORY OF BEING BLACK, SINGLE, EDUCATED and needing a man, I am going to throw a connpition or have an epileptic seizure.

So, black women need a man to complete us! Hmm..this is the same sob story given to other minorities or even white women but black women are the perpetual target? So we need to be like June Cleaver with a house with a picket fence to be happy? Get over the cinematic drama and WAKE up!

Minor ramble but there is a point to this:

Don't get me started about the feminist movement either because there is a difference between the Civil Right's Movement, the feminist movement and any other movement that used the Civil Right's Movement as a model!

White women feminists and black women feminists are 2 different trains of thought. I thought they walked hand in hand until I was taught by Dr. Pushpa Parekh of Spelman College that there is a difference. Mind you Dr. Parekh is East Indian so I am telling you from the most HONEST and open opinion I can give anyone from what I have been personally been taught.

She had us read this essay by writer/activist Alice Walker (author of the book, The Color Purple) that outlined the difference. The more I read it and understood it then I knew oh my gosh, "no wonder the white feminists don't get me!" Read this excerpt here from: http://science.jrank.org/pages/8159/Womanism.html which defines "womanism" from Alice Walker's perspective, "In Search of Our Mother's Gardens: Womanist Prose".

And, if you want to debate me because of what Rebecca Walker has said about her mom then that is sad because Rebecca Walker has every right to feel the way she does being a mixed race child in a world that can be so cruel. She has a voice to and please don't silence her. Rebecca Walker on her Mom Alice Walker -- Article from NYTimes.com:
Evolution of a Feminist Daughter

Should I have a biased opinion on then everything that Alice Walker says from what her daughter now has revealed about her?

They both have to work out this situation together if they want to but I appreciate Alice Walker defining "womanism" for me and giving me another way to look at myself as a black woman. What Alice Walker does in the privacy of her home is her private life. That goes the same with Rebecca Walker. I pray they will heal but from what I have read it seems that their mother-daughter bond will not be repaired.

[end of my rant on feminism]

Proof here for not only CNN said it but MSNBC, NPR.org, etc.

African-American Women and Where they Stand

African-American Women and Marriage Disparity

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5495033

Oprah addressed the issue but she offered a solution to think outside the box and to do things that we normally do not do such as play golf or think like a man and intermingle with them more on their terms. (if this is what you want)

Thank you for spreading this problem INTERNATIONALLY mainstream media.

This is why I usually don't watch TV. You have LOST me as a consumer. I am tired of the brain washing! Sick sick sick sick of it. Don't continue to say let's talk about it but DO something. Further, our churches need help with this and it should be us all working together to re-brain wash in the correct way for us universally to get along!

Honestly, it is easier it seems to talk than to be a part of the solution! You hiding!? Honestly, are you hiding from trying to be a part of the change? I am trying so hard to educate, help and lend and open an ear but I am overwhelmed with being the nice guy and I need HELP!

So, now the pick up lines some women may get are, "oh, I know you cannot find a good black man but I am a good [insert non-black race here]?" I have actually HAD this said to me so thank you for continuing this ridiculousness.

Provide Solutions for the change:

1. Be opened minded and hire us to do the jobs which have been traditionally held by white men and white women (partner in law firm, opportunities in hospital administration, director of a regional franchise of a blue chip company, etc.)

2. Allow us into your schools (I was denied admission to a prestigious white private school in Washington, DC as a child because I was told I was not mature enough to handle the environment after taking a personality test which was biased. The lady made me upset and because of that she said I was not a good fit for the school)

3. Be willing to TRAIN those who want to be trained to learn a skill, job, etc.

3. Teach our history instead of continuously having us in the dark. There are plenty of white scholars who have given validation to black history (Ex. Ira Berlin, Tim Wise, etc.). I say that because I know that some black scholars are not looked upon as having the *credentials* in sharing our stories. Prime example -Ivan Van Sertima (not everyone can afford or given the opportunity to attend an Ivy League School)

4. Profile black men who are eligible of dating who have issues like any other man of intermingling with the rest of the world.

5. Please be SENSITIVE to interracial dating issues. This is a true taboo situation in the black American community. If people are happy then let them be happy regardless of who they are sincerely attracted to.  Mixed children have a very hard time dealing with the black community or the white community because they are forced to choose a culture and stick with it in America. Why cannot mixed children embrace both cultures (or the multi-cultures they have) instead of being told to have a label? If this is the case then we all should have little boxes checking off everything that may be in us. (You see how ridiculous this gets!)

Though we all need some type of companionship, there are other ways to feel validated so embrace your family, yourself, animals and your environment. Is it harm to love your environment and loving self than to think of having another human to give you that *lost* part you think you have? Guess what, I don't feel *lost* and I don't have a man but my fulfillment is in my work and not in human companionship. I am NOT a super woman nor do I claim to be perfect but my happiness comes in other ways than a man who may give me a headache.

It is a disgrace what some women have gone through in these public divorces (and they are not black, see what I mean!):

Being Blond and Beautiful Really is No Guarantee of Happiness

I so need my books and music to provide that *lost* feeling. If I try to *pour* out my feelings to another human the senseless chatter and insensitivity is something I do not want to deal with anymore.

Power to being reclusive!

**if ONE MORE subject line heading in my email inbox reads, "this is a philosophical discussion on the problem without a resolution in the black community" I AM GOING to BARF!**